How to Train Your Dragon: How to Cheat a Dragon's Curse Read online

  my friend, Fishlegs, is it? The Vorpent stings

  dragons as well as humans. Thousands of

  DRAGONS die of Vorpentitis every year. When

  I bring back the frozen potato, I shall plant

  potatoes all over Berk, and no dragon shall die

  of Vorpentitis ever again.’

  Well, that got One Eye, of course, because his

  hatred of humans was only matched by his love for

  his fellow dragons, and five minutes later Hiccup was

  hitching the big Sabre-Tooth Dragon up to his sleigh.

  Hiccup told Stoick on the way that he was going

  to spend the night at Snotlout’s house and Stoick was

  delighted.

  ‘Excellent, my boy,’ roared Stoick, ‘so you’ve

  decided to take my advice, and find yourself a better

  friend. Well done, Hiccup.’

  ‘So now,’ said Hiccup, sitting down in the sleigh

  next to Camicazi, ‘we can nip to Hysteria, steal the

  potato, and get it to Fishlegs without my father even

  knowing we’ve gone.’

  108

  Only Snotlout noticed the small Sleigh-Dragging-

  a-Boat sneaking out of Hooligan Harbour, on its way to

  Hysteria on the quest for the Frozen Potato.

  Snotlout hoped that wherever Hiccup was going,

  it was somewhere dangerous, and that he would NEVER

  COME BACK.

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  8. THE WRATH OF THOR

  One Eye pulled the sleigh across the ice at a crazy speed.

  Once or twice Hiccup tugged on the reins to try and

  get him to slow down, but the big Driver ignored him,

  and so in the end, Hiccup gave up trying. ‘The quicker

  we get to Hysteria, the better, anyway,’ he reminded

  himself. The burningly cold wind slammed into his face,

  tearing at his eyelids as they careered across the ice.

  The Hopeful Puffin bounced crazily behind them

  like an ugly duckling desperately trying to keep up with

  its demented mother. Luckily, although she was not an

  attractive-looking boat, she was sturdy and used to the

  odd knock or two. Hiccup had brought along snacks for

  everybody that were supposed to last the whole journey,

  but Toothless finished all of them in the first three

  minutes, littering the sleigh with crumbs, chicken bones

  and winkle shells.

  ‘Toothless c-c-cold…’ he wailed. ‘Toothless

  h-h-hungry… Toothless BORED. Ow ow ow ow…

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  Camicazi s-s-sitting on my ta-a-ail… Are we nearly

  there yet?’

  ‘We only left five minutes ago!’ exclaimed

  Hiccup.

  ‘Toothless play I-Spy,’ said Toothless firmly.

  At first Camicazi was horribly cheerful, chatting

  constantly, and singing loudly, her bright blue eyes

  prickling with excitement.

  But as the long hours wore on, and as they played

  their fifty-second game of I-Spy with Hiccup translating

  for Toothless, and as the sky turned pink and grey with

  the coming of the evening, and as they passed the Mazy

  Multitudes to their left and began to hear the first moans

  of the Doomfang under the ice, even Camicazi fell silent.

  Hiccup made One Eye wait for the evening

  to grow darker before they turned the corner into the

  Wrath of Thor, so the Hysteric lookouts wouldn’t spot

  them coming.

  For a tense, stomach-churning half-hour they

  waited, until Hiccup judged it was safe, and gave a pull

  on One Eye’s reins to get him going again.

  The gigantic sea cliffs of Villainy and Hysteria

  loomed above them scarily in the darkness. One Eye

  bounded into the Wrath of Thor, and the cliffs leapt up

  on either side of the little sleigh as it raced along, like

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  dizzyingly high prison walls.

  The eyes of dragons shine

  in the dark, and so One Eye’s great

  eye acted as a searchlight, showing

  them the way. The ice in the narrow

  gorge was so clear that it was almost

  transparent, and in the beam of One Eye’s

  eye, you could see right through it, as if it were a two-

  metre-thick pane of frosted glass, down into the sea

  below. How interesting, thought Hiccup as he looked

  over the edge of the sleigh, I can even make out a shoal

  of mackerel down there…

  The mass of tiny fish went on for ever,

  swimming slowly in their millions way down

  below them, until suddenly they scarpered,

  shooting away like tiny sparks in an explosion,

  as a great dark shape, infinitely large, suddenly

  appeared under the ice. It was the

  gargantuan shadow of a dragon

  the size of an underwater

  mountain, and it easily kept

  up with the speedy little

  sleigh, its long tail lazily

  powering it along,

  its wings nearly

  brushing the edges of

  the Wrath of Thor as it beat

  them slowly to swim underneath.

  ‘Issa D-d-doomfang!’ whispered

  Toothless into Hiccup’s ear. ‘Let’s go

  h-h-home…’

  Hiccup gazed downwards in fascinated horror

  as the great dragon turned its head to one side

  and Hiccup found himself staring into an

  enormous, bloodshot, green dragon eye, as long

  as the sleigh itself.

  It was as if all the green in the

  world, of peas, of grass, of spinach, of

  leaves, of beans and frogs, had been

  concentrated in that one eye and

  given it the intensity of a pure green

  acid. It was like looking straight

  into the sun at midday, through a great

  green microscope, and Hiccup was so

  dazzled he nearly fell off the sleigh,

  until he was brought back to his senses by a

  terribleTHUD! and the ice below them jumped up like

  The DOOMFANG

  The Doomfang is a gigantic predator of the

  Open Ocean, very rarely seen by humans.

  It is armed not only with fearsome fangs and

  claws, but also a strange blue fire that ‘freezes’

  its victims to death.

  ~STATISTICS~

  COLOURS: Always as black as your darkest

  nightmare.

  ARMED WITH: Terrible jaws and fangs. Also

  have unusual frozen fire breath, with blue

  flames that kill by FREEZING you.

  FEAR FACTOR:..............9

  ATTACK:.......................9

  SPEED:.........................9

  SIZE:............................9

  DISOBEDIENCE:............9

  an earthquake. The sleigh jumped too, and One Eye

  soared briefly into the air with a complaining yowl.

  THUD! went the ice again as the Doomfang

  butted his head against the thick transparent wall. With

  terrified relief, Hiccup realised the ice was so deep that

  it was holding strong, although it was now shot through

  with tiny little white cracks.

  The sleigh raced towards the entrance to Hysteria

  Harbour like a mouse streaking towards a mousehole.

  The dragon followed, thudding the ice underneath as

  they went, with terrible blows from its battering-ram


  head. When One Eye turned into the harbour, he was

  going so fast the momentum from the boat behind

  almost turned them round in a great screeching circle.

  The sleigh balanced wildly on one runner, before

  slamming back down and carrying on.

  Hiccup looked over his shoulder. The Doomfang

  was too large to fit through the narrow harbour entrance.

  It pushed its great head through and Hiccup could see,

  though not hear, its huge mouth opening in a roar of

  rage, its paw with the terrible talons tearing at the water.

  It blew out a great gush of underwater blue flame that

  shot out underneath the speeding sleigh and streaked

  forward in a straight line right up to the shoreline, almost

  as if it were a bright blue road telling them where to go.

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  ‘He’s not pleased,’ grinned Camicazi, as the sleigh

  raced along the bright blue road. ‘That is one Doomfang

  in a VERY BAD MOOD.’

  ‘Let’s hope the ice holds long enough for us to

  steal the potato and get out of here,’ shivered Hiccup.

  ‘That creature would kill us with one snap of its jaws!’

  When One Eye finally came to a plunging halt at

  the ice’s edge and Hiccup clambered out of the sleigh,

  his legs wobbling like jellyfish, the evening had become

  night. The bright blue road had turned palest turquoise,

  and was gradually fading entirely.

  The harbour, thank Thor, was entirely deserted.

  Pulled up on to the rocks, half buried in snow, were

  hundreds of Hysterical boats. Even in their snow-covered

  state, you could tell these were ghost ships, that hadn’t

  rocked on salt water for fifteen years. Rags of sails hung

  from drooping masts, oars and rudders jutting from the

  snow were rotting or snapped in half.

  Hiccup sent Toothless off to have a look at

  the Hysterical Village, and the little dragon reluctantly

  flapped off into the darkness.

  ‘Why does T-t-toothless always have to do

  this?’ complained Toothless.

  ‘Because you’re the one with wings, Toothless,’

  Hiccup explained for the umpteenth time, unhitching

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  One Eye. Camicazi unpacked her burglary equipment,

  humming happily, shoving interesting-looking pointy

  instruments into her pockets, putting on her special shoes

  with spikes on the soles, winding length after length of

  stout rope around her middle.

  Hiccup’s usual companion on adventures was

  Fishlegs, who was always terrified and asking what

  on earth they were doing in YET ANOTHER life-

  threatening disaster? So it was quite a change to have

  Camicazi treating the whole thing as if it were an

  enjoyable outing.

  They put on their skis and waited for Toothless

  to return from his trip to find out the whereabouts of the

  Hysterical Village. He gave them a shock when he flapped

  out from nowhere, and landed on Hiccup’s shoulder.

  ‘Iss s-s-scary out there,’ panted Toothless,

  his eyes glowing luminously in the darkness. ‘Them

  Hysterics is having a b-b-banquet for Freya’sday

  Eve… looksa SCRUMMY.’

  Hiccup explained what Toothless had said to

  Camicazi, and she got up. ‘Excellent,’ she said. ‘Hopefully

  they’ll be so distracted they won’t notice us. Let’s get

  going.’ The little party set off up the cliff path, One Eye

  pulling them, his one eye burning bright in the darkness.

  117

  9. BACK ON BERK

  Back on Berk, Fishlegs was hot as fire, weak as a fly

  caught in a spider’s web, and talking nonsense. Old

  Wrinkly quietly bathed his head with cool water, and

  tried to feed him some watery tea.

  ‘Stop it… you withered old… dried-up crab

  claw,’ fretted Fishlegs feebly, trying to twist away from

  the old man’s hand, but hardly strong enough to move.

  ‘They must get here before ten in the morning,’

  muttered Old Wrinkly to himself. ‘He’s dying fast.’

  ‘Don’t worry,’ whispered Fishlegs, looking

  straight into Old Wrinkly’s concerned old eyes. ‘Hiccup

  will make it. Hiccup always makes it… Thor only

  knows how,’ and then he drifted off into nonsense

  again.

  Out in the middle of the Sullen Sea, strange

  noises could be heard, like the creaking of an old man’s

  knee, or the rapping of a gigantic knuckle on a door.

  The ice was beginning to crack.

  118

  119

  10. FREYA’SDAY EVE ON

  HYSTERIA

  When they reached the top of the cliff, the ground

  kept on rising up to Mount Hysteria, on which was

  perched the shadowy outline of the Hysterical Village, all

  in darkness.

  One Eye dragged them right up to the bottom

  of the village walls, where Camicazi got out her ropes.

  She threw up the rope with the metal hook

  attached, and on the first attempt it caught hold of the

  top of the wooden wall. She squirmed up it like a little

  blonde monkey and disappeared over the top. One Eye

  spread wide his wings and flew after her.

  Hiccup took a deep breath, grabbed hold of

  the rope, and climbed up, trying to ignore the skulls

  grinning at him from the top of the battlements.

  They were the only visitors to the Hysterical

  Village in fifteen years.

  The village seemed at first to be deserted.

  There was no one in the streets, no light in

  the windows.

  But the Great Hall was blazing with light. Smoke

  billowed out of several chimneys, music and chatter and

  120

  laughing poured out of the windows.

  Weirdly, beside the Great Hall, lying on great

  tree-trunks, there stood the largest Viking ship Hiccup

  had ever seen. It did seem a trifle strange to keep a ship

  so far from the sea, but Hiccup supposed the Hysterics

  hadn’t been doing any sailing at all for the last fifteen

  years, so perhaps the centre of town was as good a place

  to keep a boat as any.

  And what a ship it was…

  It was more the depth and length of a Roman

  galleon and it was the only Viking longboat Hiccup had

  ever seen with not one but three masts. On its prow the

  figurehead dragon was a snarling Monstrous Nightmare,

  and Hiccup’s heart beat a little faster with excitement

  as he read the name painted on its side in big flowing

  letters: The American Dream. Perhaps the story Old

  Wrinkly told him really WAS true…

  In stark contrast to the ships Hiccup had seen

  in the harbour, this boat was in tip-top condition. The

  rest of the village was two metres deep in snow, but The

  American Dream was spotless, her decks entirely snow-

  free. She was freshly painted, the Hysterical flag flew

  cheerily from her central mast and her oars were all out,

  just as if she were about to set sail for distant shores at a

  moment’s notice.

  121

  ‘We’ll climb up on to the roof of the Great Hall,
>
  and see if we can overhear what’s going on,’ whispered

  Camicazi. Camicazi didn’t even bother to use a rope

  this time. She just shinned up the sheer wall, appearing

  to cling to it with invisible suction like a frog. Once she

  reached the roof, she let down a rope for Hiccup, and

  One Eye hauled him up with it.

  The roof was thigh deep in snow, and Hiccup

  had to crawl through it, following the path made by

  Camicazi. She wriggled through to the central chimney,

  which had no smoke coming out of it, and she and

  Hiccup peered down into the room below.

  A blast of heat so strong Hiccup had to close his

  eyes poured out of the chimney. Hiccup’s hands burned

  as they began to warm up. Eventually his watering eyes

  adjusted to the heat and the light.

  Down below, the Hysterics were enjoying a truly

  magnificent banquet. The long central table was loaded

  high with fish, flesh and fowl cooked in every possible

  manner, whole stags, entire pigs, and brimming cups

  of beer and wine. A big drunken chap was

  dancing a jig on the table at one end,

  and the Hysterics were laughing,

  and throwing bits of food and

  chair legs at him.

  Fires blazed in six huge fireplaces. Enormous

  white rugs made out of the skin of polar bears were

  strewn about the floor. Hanging on the walls were the

  heads of dragons of every possible size, colour and

  description. And also the heads of a couple of animals

  Hiccup had never seen before, one that looked like

  an enormous, depressed deer, and another that

  resembled a gigantic bull with black curly hair.

  A map of the Barbaric World drawn

  on deerskin was hanging in a great curtain

  against the north wall. On the west of

  the map, someone had scribbled out

  the great tumbling waterfall which on

  most Viking maps was marked ‘End

  of the World’, and replaced it with

  a crude charcoal drawing of an

  island it called AMERICA.

  With a sinking of the

  heart, Hiccup recognised a big

  blond bearded bloke sitting on

  a throne as the Chief, Norbert

  the Nutjob. It was definitely